Blogging, the new confessional

In the old days we used to seek out people to talk to about our problems, our shortcomings, our sins.  People, real flesh and blood people with faces, people.  When we could not find the strength to tell them our deepest darkest secrets, our demons, we sought out anonymous places to give an account of our failures, the confessional.

Forgive me father for I have sinned.

Simple, quick, easy, anonymous.

Now, we have all those things and more right at our fingertips with the internet and the sacrament of blogging.  I can say almost anything, legal statutes aside, and no one will know, or care.  I may even be applauded for laying it all out there, or for committing the act itself, or I may even receive some sage advice that may help me in the journey that is my life.

That being said, I have a confession.

I am not a good man.  I am selfish, self-centered, self-loathing.  I have left a wake of damaged relationships throughout my life including those of my significant other and my children.  So much so that my spouse told me the other day that we are through, finished, kaput.

By no means am I blaming her, I just needed to get it off my chest.  I am losing my wife, getting divorced.

Bye bye marriage.

I don't want it, but I understand.  Neither of us can live with the shit I have dumped on this family.  It is over, she has checked out and there is absolutely nothing I can do.

We made a go of it, but after more than a decade and a half we are calling it quits.

I am having a tremendously hard time dealing with this, and really, it just does not seem real, but I figured if I could put this out there on the internet where everything is true, I just might believe it.

Now, what is my penance?.