Am I really that critical?

So I have been reviewing my last couple of blogs and I see a lot of words like douche, stupid, and liar. To be honest with you it has really started to bother me.

I thought about this for a while than sat down and had a really tough conversation with myself that went something like this:

Self: Hey.

Self: Hey.

Self:  Looks like you have been a little harsh on people lately.

Self: Yeah, you know you're right.  It's just that I am a little tired and cranky lately.  You know that I still really haven't recovered from my trip to the states, PLUS I have been working a ton since I got back, and....

Self: Sounds like excuses.

Self: You're right, its just.....well....its just nothing.  You're right.  I'm sorry.

Self: Why don't you try looking for the best in people for a change?

Self: Ok, sounds good.  See ya.

Self: Later.

So today I spent some time looking for the good around me, and here is what I found:

Today I went to pick up some stuff for a coworker of mine.  This coworker is out of the country right now and has been so for a few weeks all the while her stuff has been at this lady's house.  The entire time, several weeks, this stuff has sat in this lady's house.

Who is this lady? Just a lady.  Not a coworker, not a friend of my coworkers, not anyone.  Just a lady.  Anyway, she was helping this coworker out by watching the stuff just to be nice.  To top it off, the stuff filled this lady's spare room even though her kids were coming to visit and were going to have to sleep somewhere else so she could help out my coworker.

Sacrifice.

One of my kids has been gone for a few days.  He was at a camp having fun with his friends.  Then camp was up in the mountains at a really cool place, and he had a GREAT time.  So I went to go pick him up, and in front of all his fronts he started walking towards me saying:

"Dad, I really need a hug."

He came up to me and gave me a big hug and started to tell me all about his time, his new friends, and all the food he ate.

Love.


I live in a neighborhood with guards.  It is not because I am rich, nor is there a bounty on my head, nor is this country so dangerous that we need guards all around just to buy some milk.  The reason we have guards is because that is the culture here.  Every neighborhood has a guard.  That is just how it goes.

Well, my guard and I talk.  We share things about our lives, about our home countries, about our families.  I would like to call him a friend.  It turns out that I spent the holidays in the United States visiting my family, and he did the same, but he was in his home country.  Anyway, today was the first time I have seen him so he started asking about my trip.  We didn't have a long time to talk, but we are going to sit down this week to chat.

Friendship.


It dawned on me today that I have been spending an inordinate amount of time focused on myself.  My days have been spent thinking about how I have been wronged, slighted, stolen from.

Is that what I have become?  A selfish, whiny, little biatch!?

Sometimes I forget to look up.  Not up, up, but up.  Up to the savior, the creator of the universe, up to view Christ.  When I am looking at Christ, it is really hard to be pissed about my own circumstances.  When I am looking up all I can see is my savior giving up everything to be like me, to know me, to save me.  All I can see is love, is sacrifice, is friendship.

Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.

John 15:13

So here is the challenge.  

Look up.  

Quit bitchin' about your circumstances. 

Live life (not some miserable tit for tat type of life, but a real life, a free life, a grateful life).